1 /5 Big Boy Dining Out: 1906 Farmhouse 25405 W Newberry Rd, Newberry, FL 32669
***SWILL ALERT***
Pulling up to the hitchin post at the 1906 Farmhouse, all seemed well and fine. I dont mind themed restaurants (they can be fun). This place was designed to model the Farmhouse where the ranch hands gathered for meals before and after a long day of riding. I dug it. It gave off a warm, welcoming, one-of-the-family vibe. Kasey was my server for the meal and she was frowning before I asked one question. I placed an order for one Country Fried Steak with sides of Collard Greens and Mac & Cheese, along with some Strawberry Shortcake to round out the meal.
I soon saw Cantankerous Kasey begrudgingly returning with my victuals. I dont understand this attitude. Am I supposed to be grateful she deigned to work here? Anyway, if any of you are curious like me, you may have often wondered what it was like to spend a day in jail. To that end, I admit, I got myself hauled off to the County Hoosegow. Wanting to make the most out of my tax dollars, I booked my stay to include lunch. The dry bologna sandwich you receive, along with the juice bag to wash it down, is something you try to forget. As I looked at the slop my trustee, Kasey, placed before me, I began to long for the county jail government issue bologna.
The Country Fried Steak was fresh from the freezer and cooked with the precision of Stevie Wonder passing his behind-the-wheel driving test. Ive been hit with hockey pucks softer than this garbage. The gravy was made in the Sysco factory and this had to be their bottom-grade slush. It was as tasty as flour and water. Wait.
The sides were a step down from the entree, if that is possible. Just look at the pictures and tell me, does anything look appetizing? While I am not one to ever judge a book by its cover, as looks can be deceiving. In this case, they are not, and the adage a picture speaks a thousand words is spot on. The Collard Greens were obviously from an industrial can. Hey, dont get me wrong, all restaurants use a food service, but you dont have to be cheap about it and try to finagle the dining population by using the lowest quality they have to offer.
The Mac & Cheese looked more like something a dog regurgitated than actual food. It was dry and pasty on the palate—just the way it is not supposed to be. The Strawberry Shortcake is also food service, not unlike the stuff you got in high school, only worse. Kudos, 1906 Farmhouse, you officially serve Swill sans the fly. At least on this visit.
The Big Boy says, “I wouldnt serve this SWILL to a dead dog.”