Jerome Burns While visiting Rockford last summer, my friend took me out to lunch at Murphy’s Pub and Grill. As I surveyed the menu, I noticed they offered a giant burger challenge! A whopping 3 lb burger patty topped with 12 slices of bacon, 8 slices of cheese, grilled onions and placed on top of a 1 lb house-made bun, served with an entire pound of French fries. Competitors have one hour to eat this powerful platter in order to the meal for free, a $50 gift card, and a sweet t-shirt. Losers would have to cover the cost of the $100 dollar meal. Only 4 people had EVER completed it and they included 3 of the greatest eaters of all time, Patrick Bertoletti, Molly Schuyler, and Randy Santel. The mondo menu item and its devious lore piqued my interest, but self doubt and shame dissuaded me from trying such a grand challenge and I ended up ordering a meal made for mortals instead. The existence of Murphy’s Burger Challenge continually plagued my thoughts, taunting me for chickening out, and I vowed to one day to return and face my fears as well as that burger head on… and after my major league eating debut in July, I knew my return to Rockford this summer would finally be the year…
I eagerly got to Murphy’s early the day of the challenge to set up my camera, drinks, and mental state. Murphys had even set up a stage with a long table and kingly throne for me to eat at during the challenge. Before I knew it, the time finally came and my burger emerged triumphantly from the kitchen. A huge platter hit the table before me absolutely loaded with fries and WAY more vegetables than I could have anticipated! At least an entire head of lettuce was on the burger and on the side!
After a brief cool down, it was go time. I jumped into the largest burger of my entire LIFE starting by ripping off the top bun and attacking the MEATS. Let me tell you, this burger was seasoned with loads of delicious garlic, so much so that it actually reminded me of Nathans hot dog haha. Funny enough, I brought along the same strawberry watermelon Mio to flavor my water for this challenge that I used at Nathan’s, so the beefy and soda mixed burps I experienced during the challenge felt fondly familiar and provided a sense of encouragement.
The cheese coated mounds of meat wrapped in chewy bacon were the easiest part to get down. Then it was time for this beastly bun. It had a tough crust almost like a pizza with a similarly doughy flavor. Outrageously delicious, but a slog to plough through for my jaw and esophagus. Luckily the bottom bun soaked up plenty of burger juice to keep it soft and added an extra layer of nuance to its flavor staving off fatigue.
After finishing the meats, veggies, and bun, all I had left were the crispy fries. The first handful tasted fantastic, but each bundle of taters just became harder and harder to swallow. My gut was broaching capacity considering the unusually crazy volume of fluid I ending up needing to keep all this food moving down. My eating speed exponentially decreased with every spud induced bite.
With my last fiber of gumption, I cleared the very last bit of food from my mouth at 46:37 making me the 5th human begin to EVER finish the Murphy’s Burger Challenge! This was without a doubt my absolute most GRUELING challenge yet in terms of volume and duration. The before and after weights of my tray revealed that I had consumed 9.3 lbs of total food! This doesn’t even count for the pitcher and a half of soda that it took me to get it down as well. My gut was close to if not at MAX capacity by the end making my now 11th restaurant challenge win a particularly proud accomplishment. As I basked in distended glory, the owner came over to congratulate me with my Murphy’s gift card, a Murphy’s t-shirt, and even a rad Murphy’s Mug!
Thank you so much to Murphys for hosting such a demanding food challenge and for treating me like a celebrity! You made me feel like a rockstar and I hope it made for a fun watch to your regular guests. This challenge is no joke as it tested and pushed me beyond my physical limits.
